This was written by my father, Bill. It was sent to me by email. He had a great sense of humor. 
Sent: Sunday, October 29, 2006 7:10:56 AM
Subject: The Purina Diet
I went to Wal-Mart to buy a large bag of Purina for Baron and Athena. In the check-out line, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Duh!
On impulse, I said "No, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms." I told her it was an easy, inexpensive diet and the way it works is to load your pockets or purses with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention, practically everyone in the line was now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her. Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital? I said, "No...I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me." I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.
Make today your best ever, you never know if you'll get tomorrow.
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