Change is...

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Saw this quote on my cousin's facebook page.....


"Change is hard because people overestimate the value of what they have, and underestimate the value of what they may gain by giving that up."
James Belasco

I am no longer drinking the kool-aid

Recession....it's a word everyone is heard and knows a definition of by now. We may not all have the same definition but we all have the same bottom line answer. No money, No raise, No job, you do what you have to do....type of experience. Some have compared it to the depression....but we have better drugs now so what good does that really do??

I changed jobs. It has been an enlightening experience. I joked around with the statement...I am no longer drinking the kool-aid. But in truth, there is more reality in that sentence than I ever expected. I made the change to get more hours and improve my quality of life. It was time I started to take care of myself. The month of May and multiple MD visits proved that. Two weeks into the new job I was finally feeling a burden being lifted and drama slipping out of my everyday mood set for work.

Thursday nite was a huge breakthrough on my behalf. I was checking my work email and realized that I am no longer being bombarded with multiple daily emails from my prior coworkers or my boss or his assistant. I realized I was off the "list". At first, this kinda hurt my feelings then the epiphany hit me. I don't have to know about all the drama and angst. I just show up,...do my job....leave the building and I am done. No baggage, no burden, no carryover, no feelings of incompleteness, no feelings of failure or feeling like I am not good enough. It is over. I can relax....just do it...

Real Mothers

The Images of Mother
4 YEARS OF AGE - My Mommy can do anything!
8 YEARS OF AGE - My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 YEARS OF AGE - My Mother doesn't know everything!
14 YEARS OF AGE - My Mother? She wouldn't have a clue..
16 YEARS OF AGE - Mother? She's so five minutes ago.
18 YEARS OF AGE - That old woman? She's way out of date!
25 YEARS OF AGE - Well, she might know a little bit about it!
35 YEARS OF AGE - Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.
45 YEARS OF AGE - Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?
65 YEARS OF AGE - Wish I could talk it over with Mom.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears,
the figure she carries, or the way she combs her hair
The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes,
Because that is the doorway to her heart,
The place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,
But true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
the passion that she Shows,
and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!

Real Mothers don't eat quiche; no time to make it.
Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils are probably in the sandbox.
Real Mothers often have sticky floors, Filthy ovens and happy kids.
Real Mothers know that dried play dough doesn't come out of carpets.
Real Mothers don't want to know what the vacuum just sucked up
Real Mothers sometimes ask 'Why me?'
The answer is a little Voice says, 'Because I love you best.'
Real Mothers know that a child's growth Is not measured by height or years or grade.
It is marked by the progression of Mommy to Mom to Mother.

Grandchildren are.....

I now have a grandson whose name is Noah. I never expected to feel this way as a Grammie. Noah smiles and it warms my heart. My mom always said grandchildren are wonderful. We kept Noah overnight. It is the second time we have kept him overnight. He is so cute and cuddly. He makes me laugh which is great. Humor and happiness are definitely necessary. I have been working so much lately that I feel tired and sick all the time. I have missed three sundays at church due to work and being tired.

things with the wedding are moving along. I bought a different outfit. I had it on this morning. Now I need to get back home to try it on again. 6:30 a.m. is not the time to see if you like something. My mom is out of town with my grandma. The pig pickin is coming up along with the bridal shower. It is 70 days to christmas and 57 to the wedding. Time is flying.

live, love and laugh....

Celebrity Morph by MyHeritage

MyHeritage: Family tree - Genealogy - Celebrity

Small steps on a long journey...

This has been a crazy, wild, H$&@ week since Thursday. I weighed in today. I lost 1 pound which is great because I have been so tired from work that I did not exercise since Thursday. I talked to Jen who suggested that I workout every day but maybe I might be better to do less on days when I feel wore out. Go plan. I will try that strategy tomorrow morning. Get back up on the horse and ride. We did yoga in class today.....Let me just say, I am not a downward dog.....I am only a half-downward dog. I could do the cow/cat move and worked hard to twist myself into as many versions of a pretzel as I could. Sometimes, the fluff just doesn't go with the flow it goes the opposite way. I can aim to be more flexible with less fluff and more time......Thought for today....If your fluff keeps getting in the way, twist a little bit and work around it. Hail to the fluffy folks....we make chunky-dunking look hilarious. (We are more fun to watch because we can laugh at ourselves while others may be laughing at us or with us.)

Don't put your foot on the brake....

I have a new person in my life. She is an inspiration and a great cheerleader. Her name is Donna. She is helping me on this weight loss journey. I hung in with the program all through last week when I would have normally quit. Every time I have gained weight, I always viewed it as failure. Believe me I have tried so many diets. The resounding note to the plan for me is the food counts and exercise. I am truly sodium sensitive. Making minor changes through major wrenches in my weight loss. I gained two pounds in one week. That was all I could see. Donna helped me see and worked with me until I granted myself permission to see.....THE BIG PICTURE.

Today I worked out and worked hard to stay in zone 1 and not overshoot just because I could. I went swimming with marissa. Like the serenity prayer says.....one day at a time.

I spent 15 minutes on mypyramid.gov and learned a lot. They were right at the meeting.
Knowledge is an awesome tool

During the plan....1st 20 lbs lost

I guess it is time to make a statement about weight loss....I have been trying since I was16 to lose weight. Before I needed to lose weight, weight was an issue. So after many, many diets and years of trying, I joined a diet called the plan. Short but simple and to the point. No gimmicks, tricks or special foods. It has been an enlighting journey.....and the beat goes on

Before the plan....

This picture is from last year's beach trip. I have been trying for many years to take lots of before pictures. Let's call this one before the plan. Love the look. If I had a standard, it would probably be tank tops, capris or shorts, and most definitely my croc flip flops. Nuttin better in the world

Mother's Day 2009

It was a very eventful day....my mother had a stroke. This week was very difficult because she had no movement on the left side of her body. As of today, she has a few deficits. she is much improved from monday

The Pillsbury Dough Boy Obit

Need a good laugh??? Here is one I found on the Internet...


Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died yesterday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71.

Known to friends as Brown-n-Serve, Fresh was an avid gardener and tennis player. Fresh was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Aunt Jemima, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Skippy. The graveside was piled high with flours as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded."

Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes -- conned by those who buttered him up.

Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions. Fresh is survived by his second wife. They have two children and another bun in the oven. The funeral was held at 350 for about 20 minutes.

I love this picture....

It's called Tuesday's child by Michael Parkes

Marylyn & the bird

Here is Marylyn's picture from Dad's blog

The Accidental Caretaker

Here is my dad's picture from his book

Common Sense

Found this in an email from D.O.D. (Dear Old Dad)....

Obituary

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Aspirin, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student; but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant
and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know my Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm a Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Author unknown

December 26, 2008....The movie trip

On December 26, 2008....
I went to the theatre with my daughters. We went to see "Marley & Me". We saw the 1 o'clock show. I laughed and I cried. This movie is wonderful. I never read the book so I didn't know that Marley died. How poetic to see such a great movie and then arrive home to see my father in his last hours of life.

The week before my father passed we adopted a yellow lab named Bella. She completes our troop.

Learning to Laugh...

I had have a very difficult time learning to laugh. Now, I know laughing is not hard or complicated. But to have a really big giggly laugh.....it has to be "wet your pants" funny.

When my dad started losing hair, he sent this picture. I believe he even wore it into the oncologist's office.

Let me introduce you to the newest diet craze

This was written by my father, Bill. It was sent to me by email. He had a great sense of humor.


Sent: Sunday, October 29, 2006 7:10:56 AM
Subject: The Purina Diet

I went to Wal-Mart to buy a large bag of Purina for Baron and Athena. In the check-out line, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Duh!

On impulse, I said "No, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms." I told her it was an easy, inexpensive diet and the way it works is to load your pockets or purses with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention, practically everyone in the line was now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her. Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital? I said, "No...I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me." I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.

Make today your best ever, you never know if you'll get tomorrow.

"Dear old Dad" learned to...

I came across several old emails from my father.....One of them contained this picture. He decided that he had always wanted a Harley FatBoy. (it's a motorcycle for those of us who didn't know that). So, after his 3rd wife passed away, he bought one. He had to take lessons before he could pick it up at the dealer. I found this picture of him at bike class. He went to learn on one of the hottest July afternoons on record for 2006.

Update on my father

I cannot remember who I have updated and who have not update.

Things have been going badly for 2+ weeks. Since saturday, my father has gotten
a lot worse. He has had major mental status changes. He is extremely jaundice.
He has had nausea and vomiting. He was taken to the doctor and has been in the
hospital. I expect him to be there for at least 5 days.

He has had an ultrasound. He had to have a CT. The doctor said there are mets
everywhere. There is a stone blocking the CBD. Their plan is to do an ERCP
tomorrow. I don't know what the plan will be if it is
unsuccessful.

Based on the information we have at this time, the oncologist is giving us a
prognosis of one to three months.

He is only speaking civilially to my mother. He is rude, crude, mean and
hateful to everybody else.

Daily Mugshot

Daily Mugshot

I really like this saying. It seems to fit my current situation so well.

Phillip wrote ......

On December 3, 2008....Phillip wrote an email to my father.....I love him for defendying me.

I thank God for letting me be so blessed to have ever had the opportunity to be with her. I am nothing special, not very book smart, but I do have a good heart and I am greatful to have her as my wife, and for having my children.

I wish you could see her the way I do. You will never meet a more loving and caring person. Don't look at her accomplishments as a way to measure her integrity. What she has inside is what counts. She as tried to help take care of you and make you recieve the medical care you need, and she can do that very well. You are her father and she has tried to love you. And she seems to continue no matter what.

She will not quit caring. She was not trying to take your freedom or independence, but try to take care of you. Its hard to accept help, but sometimes you need to take it when its your only child. No matter what my kids have done or will ever do, there is no way I will ever stop loving them. I may not like what they, but I will never shut my door and close them out.

I am not writting you this to change you or change your mind. Its an opinion and I have told you what I thought about opinions, but as my opinion I also do not like her being hurt in anyway, by anyone. We get one shot at this life, we should try to make the best one we can.

"Ungrateful" 11-25-08

Date of this event was 11-25-08 prior to the firing...

I knew I had problems when this occurred......


Dad,

I am sending this in response to your attitude and language from the voice mail that you left me AND YOUR TONE OF VOICE ALONG WITH ATTITUDE when I came over to your house at 5:00pm today [Monday]

FYI....I received two phone calls from you today. The first at 2:52 p and the second at 4:41 pm. According to the email that you originally sent on Friday, YOU would handle your shopping etc. I have been tied up yesterday and today with what I consider "MAJOR ISSUES" concerning MY LIFE. Rachel and Courtney ran errands for you until the email below was sent. Prior to today and the DOG FOOD, you would have had someone to run your errands. With my grandmother having fractured ribs and my family being out of town or busy, there is no one left to run errands. The next available person will return to town by Monday, December 1st.

Have a wonderful thanksgiving.

---

From: Bill
Sent: Friday, November 21, 2008 1:33 AM

Subject: BACK TO NORMAL

UNLESS THERE IS A VERY GOOD REASON, YOU WILL NOT BE ATTENDING ANY OF MY FUTURE APPOINTMENTS. IN THE CASE WHERE I CANNOT DRIVE, YOU MAY BE ASKED TO GO.

THINGS ARE NOW BACK TO NORMAL, I WILL HANDLE MY OWN BANKING, SHOPPING, ETC FOR THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE. IF YOU WISH TO DISCUSS, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CALL.

HAVE A WONDERFUL THANKSGIVIG

"UNGREATFUL"

I was fired ! ! !

No, not from my job!

I got fired by my father. He did not tell me directly or indirectly. He did not tell me at all. My mother called me and was discussing it like I already knew.

What job did I have that my Dad could fire me? Heathcare power of attorney/Executrix.

My mother found out in an email that she was sent along with all the doctors, his friends, etc.

By lunchtime on Tuesday, he and I had a major falling out. I still have not apoligized NOR Will I apoligize. It was not my fault. Now, I will take the blame for not getting him dog food. However, I think that exception should be made on that note because last week we all got an email that things were back to normal and he could take care of himself.

My mother always told me that people reap what they sow. I think I am finally seeing that with my Dad. You cannot treat people like crap and expect them to keep coming back to be kicked and abused.

On Monday, I didn't return a call.....

Have you ever had one of those surreal moments? or what about a moment of de ju vu?

Well, I have...It started on Monday. I was busy taking care of my business. I received a phone call from my dad at 220 pm. I got another phone call at 4:41 pm.

The second phone call brought a rather unpleasant voice mail. Basically, it was 'don't you know how to return a D*** phone call!' (He was yelling at me)

What was so important? He wanted me to pick up dog food.

He didn't call back a third time.

Has my father lost his mind??

When someone says something, you better make sure you hear what they said.

Guess what father did now????

Give up....

He adopted a retired greyhound. Of course, she is black (not grey).

Her name is what just blew my mind. It is Cuzzin' Nanabelle.

My sadistic side believes he only did it to be able to yell at my mother. (My children call my mom "Nana". No, my father does not have a title for my children to call him.) You figure out the oddity of this one...

He can yell "Nana, stop it!!". I have no idea what Baron (his 95 lb weimie) thinks about this. Baron is 14 years old. he probably thinks my owner has brain tumors. (HA!HA!HA).

I will post a picture for all to enjoy. My nutcase of a father calls her his "new girlfriend". (That title blew my mind all day yesterday.)

"ungrateful"...

Well, I have experienced something I never thought I would see....What happened, you ask? My mother and my father got into an argument. No, I couldn't believe it either... They have been divorced for 38 years. She was ex-wife #1. I am an only child. But they had a major blowout. Dad reminded me of a two-year-old. My mother was "right".

Here is what occurred on Thursday 11-20-08. Mom has been driving Dad to his appointments and to run errands. He does not like being carted around. He has been critical of her driving. He tells her she is slow or she doesn't pay attention to where she is going. As he got out of the car on Thursday, she said he was ungrateful.

We got an email in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS. For those of you who do not know what that means, IT MEANS HE WAS SHOUTING AT US. I say "us" because he sent the email to me as well. He closed off his vitual calendar. He said things were back to normal and that he did not need anyone to go anywhere with him. He would be just fine.

What did I do??? I told my mother not to do anything and not to react to the email. He wanted attention and if he got it there would be no living with him. It reminded me of a temper tantrum a child would throw. As of today, my mother left town on saturday. She and the girls will be gone until Saturday or Sunday after Thanksgiving.

Phillip is still not speaking to my dad. He won't answer the phone or go see him at all. Of course, my dad did say some ugly things to Phillip at the party. No, I don't know why.

The standard answer for every bad behavior seems to be "he has brain tumors" or "he has cancer that is why he is acting ugly".

Me at 18...

At 18, I knew better than anyone what was best for me.
At 18, I met my soulmate.
At 21, I found out that love knows no boundaries.
At 25, I met myself again in the form of a new person.
At 27, I didn't think it was possible for perfection to happen three times in a row.
Each day from 18 to 42 years old, I found out that love conquers all, love bears all things, Selfless love is an undeniable gift. Giving of yourself brings rewards that are untold.

I may never know my full value but I know that I left a mark on this earth which are named Ben, Courtney, & Marissa.

My father with Ben. Ben is two weeks old in this picture. We lived in Pensacola, FL when he was born. Ben saw Bill when he was 18 months old. So I guess you could say Ben met Bill when he was 18 years old graduating from high school. That is also the same time Bill met my daughters.

Marylyn

This is my father and my second step-mother. Her name is Marylyn. She passed away in March 2006 from gastroesophageal cancer. Apparently, according to my father, she was his soul mate. I did not know Marylyn well. She came to my high school graduation. After that, she did not visit when Ben was born. We went to their house in Marietta when Ben was 18 months old. Then I saw Marylyn again in November 2005. She was the one who told my Dad's oncologist that I existed. In the end, she was nice to me.

On a fall day, long ago...

This is my father's favorite picture of me. This was taken in Battleground Park in Greensboro. At this time in my life, my father was dating my 1st soon-to-be stepmother, Sue. I thought she was an evil stepmother and I was like cinderella. I remember the fall and the leaves from the park. It was a good day.